I’ve just had a long weekend off work, and putting my daughter back into creche after I was a mixture of emotions. I spent the commute thinking about the bad things that had happened that morning and feeling like not the world’s best mum.
But one of the reasons I started this blog was to help me think things through, so in the spirit of positivity I’ve decided to write about all the good things that also happened over the weekend that I want remember.
So in reverse order here is the good, the bad and the ugly of a long weekend.
There was only one ugly moment of the weekend when my little girl fell and split her lip. I felt bad because I watched her climbing on something and probably should have stopped her, but she was happy, and then the inevitable happened. I picked her up and realised there was blood coming out her mouth, but it looked like all her teeth were intact. I was just starting to worry when she spotted a tractor and suddenly stopped crying. Within minutes she was back fine again, and the bleeding had stopped, but she was left with a big swollen lip as a constant ugly reminder to me that I probably should have prevented it.
She had a pretty sleepless night, maybe because of her sore lip, or one of the other million reasons that can affect toddlers sleep. I moved into her room and spent hours ready to comfort her when she stirred, but still when she woke the first thing she did was shout for Daddy, even though I was right there, so that didn’t do wonders for my parenting ego.
That morning she was determined she didn’t want to get dressed and was all wriggly arms and legs. At first it was funny but I could feel myself getting annoyed and just had to walk out the room for a few minutes.
Leaving the house she normally sticks close while I lock the door but this day she just ran off. I had to chase her which made her run faster and she ran right out into the road before falling over as I caught up. Luckily its a quiet road so there was no harm done, but it made me feel really useless and helpless, and thinking I need to do better to keep her safe.
When I dropped her in creche the others arriving were clinging to their mummy’s legs, and the creche owner said they are always like that after a long weekend. On the other hand my girl practically skipped in and looked delighted to be there. I love she is so confident but a little sign she would miss me would be nice.
So now I am looking at photos of the weekend and remembering the good times. The highlight for me was paddling with my daughter in the sea for the first time. She held my hand and giggled with delight as the waves hit her ankles. Even better I managed to get her clean and dry and dressed pretty easily so I was feeling like a good mum.
We also went to visit a farm and it was great watching her fascination with the animals and tractors. At first, she was a bit cautious of some of the bigger animals and kept looking to me for reassurance. But later she was eager to try and climb in and get closer, so it was nice that she trusts me.
We went to visit family and she went running into granny’s arms. She doesn’t see her that often so it was lovely to see her so confident and comfortable.
After a walk with Daddy I got several excited squeals of Mummy when she saw me and wanted to play peekaboo.
Having breakfast she brought her porridge to sit up with me on the couch and kept leaning her head on my shoulder and smiling up at me, it was the best feeling.
We sang the hokey cokey together and she was doing must of the actions and turning around, which was good fun.
So overall the good definitely outweighed the bad, and the swollen lip is already healing. I don’t feel like the worlds best mother 100% of the time, but as long as I concentrate on the smiles I can look forward to our next weekend of fun.